What To Do When Caring for a Person Who Has Dementia, Viciously Affects You

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If you are caregiving for someone close to you that suffers from dementia and you currently feel sad, alone, despaired, or even angry, guilty, and hopeless… you should know that in the face of this chronic illness and the bludgeoning and nightmarish emotional distress you are going through, it is perfectly understandable and even totally normal to feel this way.

Yet the question remains… How do you deal with something like this? [Read more…]

The 21 Most Common Stress-Related Questions Caregivers are Desperately Asking

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You may be surprised what some caregivers consider to be challenging or difficult as they care for a loved one on a daily basis! Want to see if your day is anything like theirs? [Read more…]

How To Tell if Your Mom or Dad Have Alzheimer’s Disease

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Did you know that less than half (45%) of Seniors diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or their caregiver are aware they have it?

[Read more…]

How To Have Your Elderly Parents Properly Cared For Without Going Broke in The Process

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Your Mother has Alzheimer’s. She needs around-the-clock supervision and help at home. Her insurance doesn’t cover it and you can’t afford a Nursing Home nor care for her full-time. What’s Your Next Move? [Read more…]

Why it’s Totally Ok To Shamelessly Lie, Cajole and Steal From Your Elderly Parents

…a one minute read

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I asked you a few posts ago to “forget logic” with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s or Dementia …didn’t I?

We all know that lying and stealing are generally bad things, and you are right, under normal circumstances telling lies is pretty much a bad personal policy in general.

Except, there’s nothing normal or traditional about caring for a parent suffering from dementia. So nothing you think would normally work will apply here!

[Read more…]

My Mother Doesn’t Know Who I am!

dementiaThis is going to be a tough one guys… there’s no easy way out or around it, only through it.

As Dementia percolates through your Mom’s brain, it systematically destroys everything in its path, every cell containing every memory, and every memory linking to precious moments …until it eventually gets to those neurons where memories of you as a child, a young woman, your graduation, wedding and birth of your children reside. These memories are now all gone!

[Read more…]

Gadgets That Make Life Simpler For People with Dementia and Alzheimer’s

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If there’s a group of people that can benefit from new ideas, inventions and technologies to help cope with day to day needs are dementia and Alzheimer’s patients and their families.

[Read more…]

Living with Dementia -6 Tips for Caregivers

…a 3 min read

Caregiving for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia it’s like an Iron Man race you can’t train for, and where tempo and speed shift on you with no heads up, warning, and you have to be ready.

Needless to say caregiving for someone with dementia will either evolve you as a human being, or it will consume you.

[Read more…]

Noise Pollution: A Health Hazard in Elder Care

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Be aware of noise pollution when caring for the elderly.

In my last post, I wrote about music as a beneficial form of therapy for the elderly who suffer from memory disorders, which begs the question: what about the sounds of everyday life?

The Environmental Protection Agency explains the consequences of unwanted and disturbing sound, which is the basic definition of noise pollution — an environmental stressor we cannot taste, smell or see: “Sound becomes unwanted when it either interferes with normal activities such as sleeping, conversation, or disrupts or diminishes one’s quality of life.”

Noise pollution can lead to health problems, too. “Studies have shown that there are direct links between noise and health.  Problems related to noise include stress related illnesses, high blood pressure, speech interference, hearing loss, sleep disruption, and lost productivity.”

Alzheimer’s and dementia patients are particularly sensitive to stimuli that a healthy person can normally filter. In creating a safe and comfortable environment for my parents, I found myself thinking like a parent creating a healthy environment for her children: routines, which are so important for kids to feel stable, are just as important for the elderly. A typical day for my parents revolved around “quiet” time and “noisy” time.

As caregivers, we shouldn’t take any of the five senses for granted when developing strategies for care — including hearing. Patients will react differently to auditory input and so we should be keenly aware of sound “hazards” in the patient’s surroundings.

NOISE POLLUTION AS ENVIRONMENTAL STRESS

When I was caring for my mother, I noticed that some ordinary sounds – such as a loud TV — were particularly disturbing for her. She would grimace and want to retreat to what I can only describe as her “safe space” where she detached from the world.

To help her, I avoided over-stimulation without completely dulling surrounding noises. Agitation and discomfort might otherwise have affected her cardiovascular health and emotional well-being.

I knew my mother well and so I could gauge what I thought she would like or wouldn’t like based on how she reacted to the world before Alzheimer’s disease. Neurologists had no answer for me, but all I really needed to know was old-fashioned common sense. In short, just keep the patient comfortable.

Sound is energy and vibration. While an Alzheimer’s patient may not be able to cognitively understand a sound — a spoken word may be interpreted as just that, a sound with no meaning — they may certainly be able to “feel” it, which explains the positive effects of music.

CONVERSATION AS NOISE POLLUTION

Noise pollution isn’t just about unwanted sounds; it’s also about conversation. I would always ask our health aides to refrain from any conversation when standing within earshot of my father, who was then in the beginning stages of dementia and my mother, who had advanced Alzheimer’s.

Imagine being surrounded by negative conservation or even a pleasant chat that your brain can’t process for context. Eventually, the meaningless “sound” may become jarring. You’re powerless to make it go away if you’re “stuck” in your body.

In one instance, my father overheard one side of a stressful conversation an aide was having over her cellphone about money. Because he was confused at that moment, he couldn’t properly interpret what he had heard. Later, he spoke to me as if he had been involved in her dilemma, which was a needless source of stress and anxiety for him and for me as well, as I had to go to great lengths to clarify that no one was stealing his money. (This is a major stressor for the elderly who perceive they are “losing” their possessions as they gradually let go of what they once managed.)

It’s crucial, then, to watch one’s words when speaking in front of dementia patients who are still aware of surroundings.

In my mother’s case, it was impossible to tell in the advanced stages of the disease if and how her brain could interpret sound. I erred on the side of caution: even in a state of stupor in which she was completely unresponsive, I encouraged everyone who came near her to keep unpleasant sounds and conversations at bay.

While it may seem obvious that no patient or even a healthy individual would want to tolerate noise pollution, consider this: the elderly in many nursing homes who do not enjoy private rooms must endure an almost constant stream of distracting and unpleasant noises that interfere with peace and quiet: working staff, sick roommates and their visitors, loud television sets, beeping medical equipment and other sounds create a cacophony of noise.

This situation is yet another reason to consider in-home healthcare alternatives for the elderly where caregivers can control the environment.

Some Alzheimer’s and dementia patients tend to yell or wail loudly when they feel nervous, which is a whole other aspect of elder care. My parents were relatively quiet but in all cases, it’s imperative to be conscious of noise levels. (Read what worked or didn’t work for some caregivers at Caring.com’s support group.)

In my experience, I simply tried to imagine how I would feel if I were sick and bewildered, not just for the sake of empathy, but also to gauge what would be an appropriate level of noise for my parents.

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maria de los angelesMaria de los Angeles is an award-winning writer based in Miami who became a caregiver to her parents in 2008. Since then, she has been a passionate advocate for eldercare and caregiver issues.

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Why Music Therapy for Seniors With Alzheimer’s and Dementia Totally Rocks!

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Did you know that music therapy can alleviate pain, enhance memory and improve communication?

As a caregiver for my senior mom, I know first hand how emotionally painful it is to observe the decline of an Alzheimer’s patient.

During the early stages of the disease, long before she became bed-bound and unresponsive, I experimented with music therapy.

We would sing together as a way of socializing. This also exercised her long-term memory and mental function.

My mom had a background in music and while she could no longer play the piano, she would enjoy listening to songs that reminded her of her youth in Cuba and her 50-year marriage to my father.

She also loved the songs I composed for her on the quarto, a small, 4-stringed guitar.

My mom loved to dance when she was younger and so in spite of her aging body, she could feel rhythm and music “in her bones” even when she was barely capable of carrying a conversation.

I encouraged her to stand up while she still could and perform small, gentle hand and foot movements. Dance became part of our music therapy routine and it exercised her motor-coordination.

Sometimes, she would hum along. No matter what, her face would always LIGHT UP!

MUSIC THERAPY AS A STRATEGY FOR SUNDOWNING RELIEF

My father suffers from dementia and he too benefited from our music therapy. At night, I sang to my parents before I tucked them into bed and we enjoyed the same lullabies they sang to me when I was a child.

Although the bedtime ritual was bittersweet for me, it meant we could bond when short-term memory was fuzzy. My singing would help both my “babies” fall asleep with a sense of security and comfort.

Routine is especially important for the elderly with memory disorders, as they tend to become agitated at night in a state of confusion and restlessness called “sundowning.”

Singing softly at bedtime was not only crucial for my parents’ palliative care but it also soothed me before “me” time. Bedtime music therapy meant that my caregiver work day was over and that I could now take care of my own needs.

Music gave me a respite from the constant worry that resulted from being a parent to my parents. Although I would, of course, have preferred to sing to my parents under happier circumstances, using music as a therapeutic tool brought me a sense of peace and acceptance.

Caught up in the stress of caregiving, I often forgot these simple joys in life.

WHY MUSIC THERAPY IS INCREDIBLY EFFECTIVE

The Alzheimer’s Association offers a more scientific description of what I believe most of us already know intuitively:

This happens because rhythmic and other well-rehearsed responses require little to no cognitive or mental processing. They are influenced by the motor center of the brain that responds directly to auditory rhythmic cues. A person’s ability to engage in music, particularly rhythm playing and singing, remains intact late into the disease process because, again, these activities do not mandate cognitive functioning for success.

In short, music really does soothe the soul and the mind!

For most of us, music is usually a source of joy and connection that’s grounded in our early perception of our surroundings. The first sound we hear is the mother’s heartbeat. Sound and movement are primal to our body’s instinctual relationship to the world.

Those who suffer from Alzheimer’s lose their sense of connectedness; the mental fog of short-term memory loss must be very bewildering.

Sounds that evoke positive, joyful feelings, including laughter, are all means of breaking the painful silence of Alzheimer’s when the patient is no longer capable of responding to other forms of stimuli. Tapping into the music my mother “remembered” was a form of communication for both of us when she could no longer hold a normal conversation.

In my experience as a caregiver for seniors, music therapy supported a sense of well-being once we identified what kind of music would help my parents focus on any task at hand — even the simple task of singing.

One compelling testimonial about the benefits of music therapy comes from Music and Memory, a non-profit organization that brings personalized music into the lives of the elderly or infirm through digital music technology, vastly improving quality of life.

If you care for a loved one with a memory disorder, try going down memory lane with their favorite music. It’ll be good for both of you!

 

maria de los angelesMaria de los Angeles is an award-winning writer based in Miami who became a caregiver to her parents in 2008. Since then, she has been a passionate advocate for eldercare and caregiver issues.

 

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